


I'm here

by PurrV



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, valveplug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-11 13:38:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7894696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurrV/pseuds/PurrV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel mini fic to Rolling_girl27's An Unexpected Guest</p><p>Sideswipe has shut himself off from his team as he tries to deal with what happened to him. His team try to help but to no avail and its up to Jazz to step in and save the young mech before he loses himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [An Unexpected Guest](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7882267) by [Rolling_girl27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rolling_girl27/pseuds/Rolling_girl27). 



All he could was stare at himself. His reflection stared back him and bore the same expression, dread and exhaustion. He didn't even recognise himself anymore. Running his hands down his waist he examined his belly, twisting and turning his body to inspect it at all angles. He prodded it and massaged it and tried to compare it to how it looked a few days ago.

"Has it gotten bigger?" he asked himself.

He wanted to ask someone, anyone for their opinion. He needed to know if his belly had grown since... since... Sideswipe cringed as the very thought made him physically ill and he felt the need to purge his tanks as the bile rose up his intake. He held it in but coughed violently, wiping away some excess oral fluids.

"Isn't purging tanks a sign of...?" Sideswipe began to panic and inspected his gut again. It had gotten bigger, it must have. 

His feet moved on their own as he strode towards where Bumblebee was setting up some security wires around the perimeter of the base. Bumblebee saw him coming and stood up, his face full of concern. "Sideswipe, shouldn't you be resting?" he said, his tone softer than normal.

Sideswipe suppressed a growl but his face did form a snarl. "I've rested enough," he muttered, "I just need you to tell me if it... if my..."

Bumblebee seemed to already know what the question was as it was the only question Sideswipe asked him of late. "Sideswipe you are NOT carrying," he declared, "you're just over reacting."

"OVER REACTING!?" shrieked Sideswipe, his face twisting into an expression of rage.

Bumblebee cringed at the poor choice of words. "I-I'm sorry Sideswipe, but-"

However Sideswipe had it up the sky with how he was being treated. "You weren't the one who was attacked," he snapped bitterly, "you weren't the one who was treated like a sex toy for hours! You didn't even bother to comm me! You all just sat here whilst I was used over and over again!"

Bumblebee looked hurt and his face was full of guilt. "We would have gotten there if we knew," he weakly protested.

"Well you didn't," barked Sideswipe, "and now I could be-" before Sideswipe could finish he retched and violently purged his tanks. It took him by surprise and he fell to his knees, coughing and sobbing as warm fluids were forced out of his intake. His frame shuddered as the last of it gushed out of his throat and into the puddle beneath him. He heaved heavily as a loose tear ran down his face and he spat out the remains of the foul fluids in his mouth. Before he could get up he felt a hand on his shoulder and he instantly slapped it away and stood back up. "Don't ever touch me," he spat before bolting off.

He ran into a secluded area of the scrapyard and slumped against a wall, sliding down until his rear hit the floor and he buried his head into his arms. He hated this. He hated the way everyone treated him like a fragile doll. He hated this disgusting feeling that was present all over his body. He never asked for any of this. It was just plain unfair.

Only a few days ago Bumblebee was lecturing him on how to be a team player, Strongarm was telling him off for failing to file his patrol report, Fixit was trying to warm up to him with geeky chit chat and Grimlock wanted to play a game with him with dangerous junk. Those days he desperately wanted back, he took them all for granted. Now Bumblebee was giving him pep talks that didn't work, Strongarm was desperately trying to be sweet to him, Fixit tried to keep his hopes up in weird and bizarre ways and Grimlock wouldn't stop showering him with junk he called gifts. Sideswipe despised the pity they were trying to force on him. All of them putting on this false show of love and affection in an attempt to hide their true feelings. 

He remembered when he came back online, after it all happened.

He was lying on a makeshift medical berth Fixit constructed, hooked up to machines that kept his vitals stable. His mind was still a mess and he sat up in alarm and had a panic attack, both Strongarm and Bumblebee trying to hold him down. He screamed and cried and begged, thinking that someone else was holding him. It took a while but eventually he realised where he was and who was with him. They all told him he was safe and it wasn't going to happen again, but those promises meant nothing to Sideswipe. Everything felt numb and his mind was far too messed up to think straight. He looked down at his body and to his horror found his belly to be swollen. He recalled a critical point during his attack and his mind was full of fear. In a fit of panic he grabbed his blade screaming that "he had to get it out." Strongarm had to restrain him whilst Bumblebee wrestled his sword away, their leader insisting that it was just the side effect of having his chamber pumped.

After that Sideswipe was forced to stay on the berth until he had recovered but only after two days he ripped the wires off his body and went to find somewhere in the scrapyard he could be far away from the prying optics of his team. Laying on a berth doing nothing made him think of things he didn't want to think about. He tried to think of something to do but he couldn't, he could only wallow in self pity. The Autobots all came one by one to check on him but he either ignored them or shooed them away. Eventually Bumblebee did ask him, "who did it?" Sideswipe couldn't answer so he remained silent. Grimlock asked as well but because he promised Sideswipe he would punch them hundred times for what they did. Once again Sideswipe said nothing.

The Autobots tried to give him space but kept a close optic on him whenever they could. They were too ashamed to admit that none of them knew what to do. They didn't have the correct expertise nor the proper medical equipment for this kind of thing and their off world communication equipment wasn't working so the were on their own. Needless to say the mood at the scrapyard grew sour.

Sideswipe tried to sink into the blank abyss of his mind when his solitude was disturbed when the loud sounds of heavy foot falls approached and stopped right in front of, causing Sideswipe to look up. "What is it Grimlock?" he sighed.

Grimlock was wearing one of his goofy grins and placed an unusual item before Sideswipe. "I made ya somethin'," he declared with pride. "I call it, a throwing tin ball! We can play if you want, I know a good spot!"

Sideswipe huffed angrily, not amused by Grimlock's simple logic. "I told you before, I don't want anything."

Grimlock whined and fiddled with his claws. "There has to be somethin' I can do," he pleaded. The Dinobot desperate to get his friend back to normal.

Well there was one thing, he doubted Grimlock would for it but it was worth a shot. "Can you get me my sword back?" asked Sideswipe.

That request made Grimlock uncomfortable. "Er... Y'know Bee said you weren't allowed it until you get better," mumbled the Dinibot.

"What, does he think I'm gonna commit suicide or something?" snapped Sideswipe, glaring at Grimlock angrily.

The poor Dinobot cringed and tried to think of something he could go or say that would make this all better. "J-just tell me who did it," he pleaded, "I'll hit 'em and smash 'em for you. Please Sideswipe, I don't like it when you're like this."

Sideswipe didn't react too kindly to those words. "Do you think I want to be like this!? You think I'm enjoying this!? Go away Grimlock and leave me alone!"

Grimlock whined sadly and stomped away, leaving Sideswipe all alone. The young mech sighed heavily and stared up at the heavens, a part of him feeling guilty for all the hurtful things he said but it was overshadowed by all his self loathing and hatred. Looking up at the heavens he wondered if anything would be the same ever again.

___________________________________

Bumblebee couldn't be more relieved when he received a communication from Jazz, his old war friend. The saboteur explained he had to pop in to see how the Earth team was doing on behalf of the council and could be there for a few days. Bumblebee was pleased his friend was coming but also because of the current situation he really needed help and hopefully Jazz would have answers. It was also a plus that Sideswipe looked up to Jazz and having him here might save the scrapyard from the doom and gloom that shrouded it. He didn't want to burden Jazz with something like this but he truly needed help.

Within half a day he made his appearance outside the base, the smooth talking mech walking with a smile on his face and beat in his walk. "Jazz you have no idea how good it is to see you," proclaimed the young leader.

"Nice to see you too Bee," chortled Jazz, giving his friend a high five. 

Bumblebee did his best to smile but with the subject at hand it was hard to wear such a smile. "So... How was the trip?" he asked.

"Cool, except for the flight through the asteroid belt. So many dents to bang out," replied Jazz as he looked around, "where is the rest of your team?"

"Oh, well Strongarm and Grimlock are on patrol," replied Bumblebee, "Fixit is sprucing up the security, Russell and Denny are on a week long hiking trip and Sideswipe is chilling back over there."

Jazz looked in the direction Bumblebee pointed. "I'll go say hi to the kid," suggested Jazz but before he could Bumblebee stopped him.

"Jazz... I need to talk to you," pleaded Bumblebee, his optics conveying his desperation. He lead Jazz to a quiet spot far from certain audios, a place where he went to think and be alone. He offered Jazz a seat on a pile of rubber tires, not as comfy as mesh chairs but just as good. Bumblebee did one final look around before sitting down across from his friend. "Sorry," he said.

"No prob," replied Jazz who was quite curious about seclusion, "what's up Bee?"

Bumblebee finally cracked upon getting asked and his face flooded with expressions of guilt and regret. "I messed up Jazz, I really messed up. I failed as a leader and now one of my teammates is suffering because of it."

Jazz raised his hands in a gesture to calm Bumblebee down, his rambling almost becoming unrecognisable blabbing. "Woah, woah, calm down Bee," pleaded Jazz, "you never lose your cool like this. Well except that one time but that was a while ago."

Bumblebee vented a few times before explaining. "Jazz... One of my teammates got attacked."

"Badly?" asked Jazz. Bumblebee nodded. "Who? Are they ok? I know you haven't got the best medical facilities, but I do have some on my shuttle I can bring."

"I appreciate it," sighed Bumblebee with a forced smile. "It was Sideswipe who was attacked and yes, it was bad."

Jazz looked round with concern, hoping he could spot the familiar red frame to see just how bad he was but he couldn't. "Just how bad are talkin' 'bout? Lost an arm? Internal damage?" Bumblebee looked like he didn't want to answer. "Bee?"

Bumblebee inhaled before quietly answering, "someone forced themself on him. From what I can tell he had been... raped... multiple times."

The air grew unbearably heavy around them and the silence was awful. Jazz, who had been leaning forward in a relaxed pose, slowly sat up straight and his chilled personality was replaced with a serious one. He didn't say anything for a full minute, probably to let it all sink in, but he did eventually ask, "who did it?" His voice almost sounding as cold as Prowl's, the famous tactician with a spark as cold as nitrogen.

"He won't tell us," groaned Bumblebee, "he's completely shut himself off from us. I had to confiscate his sword when he tried to cut himself open because he thinks he's carrying. We pumped his chamber the moment we got him back but..." Bumblebee bit his finger. "I don't know what to do Jazz. I absolutely have no idea what to do. I tried everything Optimus would do but it's not working. All I know that this is my fault."

Jazz was quiet for a while, inhaling and exhaling deeply and slowly, his large hands cracking as he clenched them tight. He wasn't showing it but Bumblebee knew that Jazz was boiling with inner rage. It was something Bumblebee admired about Jazz for instead of letting his emotions get the better of him he would take them and keep them in check to avoid hurting others around him. There were hundreds of situations during the war when he had the right to go into a fit of rage but he never did, explaining that it would never benefit anyone if he did.

Once he got every inside under control Jazz relaxed once more but kept his tone serious. "First of Bee, it ain't your fault."

"It is," protested Bumblebee, "he was on heat Jazz. He had no idea he was in heat and I just let him wander into the Decepticon infested forest in that condition! If I had told him, he would've taken extra precautions but I... I just couldn't approach him, I was going to wait when he was off heat."

Jazz frowned. When mechs went on heat the smell they produced would be do intoxicating it would be impossible to talk to the one producing those smells. "Bee that don't mean it was your fault," assured Jazz, "it wasn't you who attacked him." Bumblebee didn't seem convinced. "Ok, start from the beginnin' Bee," asked Jazz, "what happened that day."

Bumblebee told Jazz everything that had transpired that day, almost a week ago. How it was awkward to be around Sideswipe because of his heat cycle, how he wandered off to be alone and when Bumblebee grew concerned with how long the young mech was taking. The whole team went out to look for him and found him unconscious with his arms bound and his valve ruined. They didn't see who committed the atrocity despite trying to search for clues. Strongarm was convinced it was a Decepticon as she believed only they would do something so vile. Bumblebee only cared about Sideswipe's health to care about pointing the finger at someone but no matter what he did or say it didn't help and Sideswipe alienated himself from the team.

Jazz listened and took it all in. "This isn't going to fix itself overnight Bee," he said flatly, "and I understand why you want to blame yourself for what happened, but tryin' to take blame isn't goin' to help Sideswipe." He patted the yellow mech on the back. "You are his team leader and right now you have to act like one. He needs to see that you are someone he can depend on 'cause if you can't it's goin' to hurt you both." 

Bumblebee nodded, the advice really helping him. "I just never been in a situation like this," he sighed, "I try to say the right thing but it doesn't work."

"Well what do you expect," sighed Jazz, "he's shuttin' himself in on purpose because right now he thinks he's alone. We gotta coax him out of his shell but it will take a lot of TLC." Bumblebee nodded in agreement but still appeared uncertain. Jazz knew Bumblebee was going to struggle whilst managing his team and dealing with this situation, he was also one mech down. He was a young inexperienced leader and right now he needed all the help he could get. "Ok, here's what we'll do," suggested Jazz, "I'll hang for a bit to help out the kid and you put out a call for that Drift fella to help fill up the empty slot on your team."

That seemed to had pleased Bumblebee a great deal. "Jazz this means a lot," he sighed happily but that smile quickly vanished. "I must be really bad at this if I'm this needy for help."

Jazz gave him a friendly bop on the face. "Even Optimus needed help from others, it's nothin' to be ashamed of."

Bumblebee released a small chuckle. "You always were an awesome pep talker."

As Jazz rose from his rubber tire seat go find Sideswipe, Bumblebee stopped him abruptly. "Jazz... There's something else," he muttered, "we pumped Sideswipe's chamber the moment we got him back to avoid him to carry... but I don't know if it worked." Bumblebee appeared ashamed again. "I told him repeatedly that he isn't but he seems convinced that he is. I know it's only been a week but..."

"Say no more," said Jazz, "if it worked then great, if it didn't then it's somethin' we're gonna have to deal with. Right now the priority is to get Sideswipe's mental health back in balance."

Bumblebee nodded in agreement and stood up. "I'm going to make a call to Drift," he said, "I know he's wandering around Earth with his students right now." Before he turned to leave he gave Jazz the warmest smile he could muster. "Thanks Jazz."

Once Bumblebee was gone Jazz's calm expression crumbled and he dragged a hand down his face. "Not again," he murmured to himself. Shaking himself out of the foul thoughts that nearly consumed him he made his way to where Sideswipe was hanging out. It didn't take long to find him, spotting his bright red frame amongst the rust coloured junk around them. He had wedged himself between two stacks of junk in an attempt to hide himself from the rest of the world.

Jazz could only stare at him with optics full of pity. When he met Sideswipe for the first time he was full of spunk and personality. A smile that could make anyone else smile and an attitude that could not be beaten. Now he looked like a broken down mech who had given up on everything. Jazz felt the inner rage at the idea someone would do something so cruel to someone like this, but right now he had to keep it cool for Sideswipe's sake.

He slowly approached and uttered a small cough to announce his presence. Sideswipe wearily looked up but his expression changed when he saw who was walking towards him. "W-what? Jazz?" Sideswipe slowly stood up. "When did you get here?"

"I just got in today," he replied, acting casual and chilled, "nice to see you again."

Sideswipe just stared at Jazz, his feelings mixed about the veteran's presence. He rubbed his arms and shuffled a little as if he was trying to think of something to say. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon," he said, "n-not that I'm not happy to see you.. it's just.. stuff's been happening and all that." 

The uneasiness in his voice was almost unbearable. Jazz knew he was trying to conceal the truth from him but hiding the fact that he was aware of what had happened to Sideswipe was just as bad. He took a small step forward. "Look kid," he sighed, trying to be gentle, "Bumblebee informed me of what happened..."

Sideswipe's face twisted into an expression of pure horror and shame. He stepped away from Jazz as his frame shook. "I-I didn't... You... It n-never..." The poor thing looked like he was about to break down in tears.

Jazz tried to reach for him but Sideswipe swatted his arm away and ran deeper into the scrapyard. He could only watch as he ran off, leaving Jazz to wonder if he could help Sideswipe at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Jazz walked around the scrapyard trying to find Sideswipe, the young mech now hiding from the veteran Autobot after revealing his awareness of what happened to the young mech. He would spot him every now and then but before he could get to him Sideswipe would run off in another direction, ducking and leaping over obstacles. Jazz wanted to help Sideswipe but he wasn't keen on playing hide and seek in a scrapyard all day.

"Kid, let's talk," he called out.

"Leave me alone," shouted Sideswipe, his voice projecting his misery.

"I can't do that," shouted Jazz, catching a glimpse of red armour.

"Yes you can," snapped Sideswipe, "just turn around and go!"

"You need to talk to somebody," argued Jazz, climbing up one of the piles of scrap metal to get a better vantage point. "Talkin' is the first step you need to take."

"I don't want to talk," cried Sideswipe.

Jazz followed the voice back to its source and spotted Sideswipe trying to hide by some scrapped vehicles. The young mech hadn't notice Jazz and the veteran quickly manoeuvred his way over to the young mech before he was spotted.

"Your team is worried about you kid," shouted Jazz, taking care not to be seen, "they all blame themselves."

"G-good," snapped Sideswipe, "it is their fault. They let it happen to me!"

"That ain't true kid," argued Jazz, "and you know it!" He rounded a corner and spotted Sideswipe with his back to him, peeking out from behind some junk. Not taking a chance, Jazz quickly strode over and reached for Sideswipe's arm, the young mech reacting too late.

"Let go!" Sideswipe shrieked as Jazz's hand clasped around his arm, smacking it in an attempt to get it off. "Let me go," he begged, trying to pull himself free, "j-just leave me alone."

Jazz didn't want to restrain him like this and it wasn't a pleasant sight to see Sideswipe so desperate to get away from him whilst his face was plastered with fear and shame, but he had to for the young mech's sake. He stepped a little closer and used his free hand to gently place it upon Sideswipe's shoulder. "I just want to talk kid," he asked in more gentle tone.

"N-no," snapped Sideswipe, still trying to yank his arm free.

"I'm not gonna leave 'til we talked," declared Jazz.

"I don't want to," argued Sideswipe.

"It ain't a matter of you wantin' to, it's a matter of you needin' to," countered Jazz.

Sideswipe ignored him and continued with his vain attempts to free himself, smacking and even trying to bite at the hand that held him. Jazz kept his grip firm but not too firm as he held the young mech, waiting for Sideswipe calm down. It sounded cruel but Sideswipe needed someone to talk to and constantly running away wasn't going to solve anything. It only took a few minutes before Sideswipe gave up and fell to his knees, sobbing almost uncontrollably and trying to hide his face with his free hand. Jazz released Sideswipe's arm and knelt down next to him, pulling a polish rag from his sub space and offering it to him.

"C'mon, dry those optics," pleaded Jazz, not trying to shove the rag in Sideswipe's face. The young mech sobs became discreet sniffles and he didn't dare look at Jazz but he did take the rag and wiped his puffy optics. Jazz waited until Sideswipe had finished sorting himself out before standing back up. "Can we please have a talk," he asked gently, "and no, I ain't leavin' till we do."

Sideswipe stared down at the dirt, his shoulders sagging as he realised that he wasn't going to get the veteran to leave. "What's there to talk about," he muttered, "I'm sure Bumblebee told you everything."

"Bumblebee is concerned for your wellbeing," said Jazz.

That made Sideswipe glare up at Jazz. "Oh well he didn't care about me when I wandered into the forest with a condition that made me a target!"

"You can't blame Bumblebee," stated Jazz, "and you can't blame the rest of your team. They all feel like it's their fault when it ain't."

Sideswipe sniffled again, wiping one of his optics when a tear fell from one. "What are you saying? That it's my fault?" he stammered.

"Absolutely not," insisted Jazz with a slightly firmer tone, "not you or your team are to be blamed for this and it ain't gonna help you if you keep findin' someone to blame and run off." Jazz knelt back down until he was optic level. "Right now you feel like no one can understand what it's like to be you right now and you're right, no one can possibly understand what it's like, but runnin' isn't goin' to make everythin' better."

"And talking helps?" scoffed Sideswipe. "Sorry but I doubt a little chat will make me feel any better."

"It's a start," assured Jazz, "this won't be easy but gettin' back on track with your life is a path that is best walked with friends." He stood back up and offered his hand to Sideswipe. "Ain't we friends?"

Sideswipe did nothing at first but he eventually and reluctantly took hold of Jazz's hand and allowed him to pull him up. He wiped his optics once more and shuffled, finding the whole situation to be awkward. Jazz sensed it and chose to break the silence. "You feel a little better?"

"Would it surprise that my answer is a no?" Sideswipe didn't look Jazz in the optics, he just kept his head down and his whole frame was slumped.

Jazz knew this wasn't going to be easy but he wasn't planning on giving up any time soon. "Ok, how 'bout we start nice and slow," he suggested, "tell me how you feel."

"Are you serious!?" Sideswipe was now looking up but his face was a mixture of confusion and anger. "How do you think I feel!?"

"Tell me," answered Jazz, "because I don't know how you feel. You sound angry but for all I know you could actually be sad. You're hidin' your emotions from me, so just tell me up front," Sideswipe's voice got trapped in his throat and he appeared a little unsure of what to say. "Take your time," said Jazz softly.

It took a minute but eventually Sideswipe did finally say, "I feel... angry."

"Anything else?" Jazz knew that Sideswipe was feeling more than one emotion right now.

"Annoyed... Fed up... Sick..." Another tear fell down his cheek and despite his best efforts he couldn't hold them in. "D-dirty... Used... Broken... I f-feel like a-..." Sideswipe couldn't hold it in any longer and he started bawling uncontrollably. "I'm never g-gonna be n-normal again," he sobbed, "everyone thinks I-I'm weak and d-disgusting!"

"No one thinks you're weak or disgusting," argued Jazz, stepping forward to wrap an arm round the young mech's shoulder.

"They d-do," wailed Sideswipe, his face now a waterfall of tears and his optics swollen, "they won't stop t-treating me like a sparkling. They're g-gonna kick me off the t-team and send me back to Cybertron! They'll treat m-me like a traitor f-for letting it happen and l-lock me away f-forever!"

"No they won't," said Jazz.

"They will! They'll send m-me away for good!" 

As Sideswipe continued to cry and weep and come up with scenarios his deranged mind thought up, Jazz did nothing but listen to him. The young mech needed to get all these pent up emotions out and the crying was helping. The sun above passed overhead and their shadows moved across the ground and soon Sideswipe's tears were slowing down and his sobs had been reduced to hiccups. The rag Jazz gave him was completely soaked with his tears, he had to wring it out just to use it again. Jazz sat and waited, his hand patting Sideswipe on the back in a soothing manner.

After a few sniffles and a couple of hiccups Sideswipe finally said, "you must think I'm pathetic too, crying like a sparkling."

Jazz reached for Sideswipe's chin and forced him to look up. "You are not pathetic," he stated firmly, "cryin' is a healthy way to get rid of all those negative emotions. It's all a part of the journey you gotta take to feel better again." Sideswipe sniffed again and his optics darted away from Jazz. "All that stuff will never happen, alright? All anybody wants to do is help and nothing else."

Sideswipe wiped his optics with rough hands. "W-will I ever b-be normal again?"

"Only if you want it," answered Jazz, "and everyone here is going to help you. You'll get there eventually." The young mech wiped his face once more and tried to stop his sniffling. Jazz decided that they had done enough for now and Sideswipe needed a break. Continuing would do Sideswipe no good and he needed some rest. "Why don't you go take a rest and we'll chat later on. We'll tackle this one step at a time, okay?"

The young mech seemed reluctant at first but he obeyed, his head nodding awkwardly. Just as he was about to shuffle off to his recharge spot he tried to hand back the rag to Jazz but the veteran urged him to keep it. Sideswipe didn't appear grateful but he didn't look upset about it either, he just used the rag to wipe another tear away before turning around and walking away.

Jazz watched as Sideswipe staggered away. "I'll be right here if you need me, alright?" shouted Jazz. Sideswipe didn't respond but Jazz knew he heard and decided to head back over to the rest of the Autobot team.  
___________________________

Bumblebee looked relieved as Jazz told him how it went with Sideswipe, all the worry and stress vanishing from his worn face and he actually put on a genuine smile. "Jazz you have no idea how happy I am," sighed the yellow mech, "every time I tried talking to him he would blow up on me."

"It ain't over yet Bee," stated Jazz, not meaning to be a buzz killer but wanted to keep it real, "he's still a little unstable but I believe with the right motivation he can get back to the Sideswipe we all know and love."

"So what's next then?" asked the yellow mech.

"I'll keep workin' with him, you just concentrate on workin' with the rest of your team," answered Jazz, "speakin' of which, did you get a hold of Drift?"

"He hasn't returned my call," sighed Bumblebee appearing concerned, "he could be on one of those deep meditation training things with his students but I'll keep trying."

That was a problem. If there was a Decepticon incident that required a big team then the Autobots were going to suffer. "I don't mind goin' on missions with you," offered Jazz, "but we gotta consider leavin' the kid unsupervised."

"Fixit had been upgrading security since the incident," informed Bumblebee, "hopefully in the future we can all walk out of here without needing to worry about Decepticons sneaking in. Sideswipe should be safe inside until we return."

Just as Bumblebee finished that sentence the gate to the scrapyard opened and in walked Strongarm and Grimlock, who was dragging an unconscious and badly beaten up Decepticon behind him. The femme seemed angry about something and Grimlock looked a little upset, kicking small stones that he walked passed. Bumblebee excused himself and went to see what was going on with his other teammates.

"What happened team," he demanded, using his leader voice he had been practicing on. It sounded bad but he was still trying.

Strongarm spoke first. "We apprehended the perp but the moment I cuffed him Grimlock here started throwing punches." She then glared at Grimlock. "He's lucky I'm not going to charge him with inappropriate apprehension of a criminal!"

"I was interrogating him," argued Grimlock, dumping the Decepticon before them. "I thought you said we could do that!"

"You do not have the authority to conduct an interrogation," snapped Strongarm, "and what you did wasn't an interrogation, that was a smack down!"

"I thought that's what an interrogation was," muttered a stumped Grimlock.

"Guys!" Strongarm and Grimlock almost forgot Bumblebee's presence and suddenly became silent. Bumblebee first turned his attention to Grimlock. "Grim, why did you want to interrogate him?"

Grimlock fiddled with his claws and shuffled awkwardly. "I wanted to know if he was the 'Con who hurt Sideswipe," he explained, his optics darting around in an attempt to avoid looking at Bumblebee, "b-but it was Strongarm who said we could interrogate him to find out!"

"When I said interrogate I meant to ask him a series of vocal queries, not punch him repeatedly," snapped Strongarm. "You knocked him out before we could even begin!" The Decepticon groaned beneath them and it was Strongarm who delivered the kick. "Keep quiet," she barked.

"Hey, how come you can hit them but I can't?" snarled Grimlock.

"Because I have the authorisation to do so," argued Strongarm.

Grimlock and Strongarm continued to bicker back and forth between each other, trying to get the other to take the blame for what happened, until at last Bumblebee raised his voice. "Cease this inappropriate behaviour at once!" His loud voice caused Strongarm to stand to attention and Grimlock to jump behind her in fright. Bumblebee glared at the pair of them. "From now on, you are to capture the Decepticon and bring it straight back to the base," he ordered, "no interrogating and no knocking them out cold unless necessary! Understood?" 

The two 'Bots nodded furiously and guilt washed over their faces. "It... It was my idea sir," admitted Strongarm, "I thought he might know who attacked Sideswipe and-" 

She immediately stopped talking when Sideswipe himself walked out into the main square of the scrapyard, heading over to where the energon was stored. He glanced up at the four 'Bots and unconscious 'Con and paused. Grimlock, without warning, kicked the 'Con into a pile of metal beams that fell down and completely hid the convict from site. Both Strongarm and Grimlock gave Sideswipe a cheesy wave and smiled awkwardly, acting as if everything was normal. Sideswipe said nothing back grabbed his energon and shuffled back into the scrapyard, out of sight. Once he was gone both Grimlock and Strongarm appeared uneasy as if they just made a huge mistake.

Jazz rolled his optics and approached the other 'Bots. "Guys you gotta relax," he said, "this whole act you're pullin' isn't goin' to make anythin' progress."

"W-when did you get here?" Strongarm has only just noticed Jazz.

"He was here the whole time," said Grimlock, earning another glare from the femme.

"Thanks for telling," she muttered.

"Can I continue?" Once there was silence Jazz continued. "Ok I was only here to give the council a report but Bee told me what happened-" both Strongarm and Grimlock twisted their faces in shame as if they were to blame for everything that had transpired of late "-so I'm stickin' around to help out the workload and to help out with Sideswipe. All I ask is if you give him a lil' space and drop the pity act, it ain't helpin'. Just act normal around him as best you can, alright?" 

Bumblebee nodded in agreement. "And no more interrogations, alright? We're a team and that means we got to act like one. Alright?"

Strongarm seemed uncomfortable but nodded as well and Grimlock asked, "instead of throwing punches can I just ask?"

"Grimlock," snapped Bumblebee in a disapproving tone, causing the Dinobot to whine. So Strongarm walked off to file the report and Grimlock went off to dig up the 'Con he kicked under a pile of junk, leaving Jazz and Bumblebee alone. Bumblebee looked a little uncertain once again and he looked over at Jazz with concern. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine," stated Jazz, "it effects everyone." And Jazz knew that from experience alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should point out that the romance between Sideswipe and Jazz will be hinted, not forced

Sideswipe couldn't sleep, even as the stars started to vanish and the sky was slowly turning pink and gold blended together. He had been laying in the same spot for hours and hours but had been unable to recharge, for every time he closed his optics he saw him.

_"Yous are such a dirty slut!"_

Bolting up Sideswipe heaved heavily, almost certain he had that voice spoken directly into his audio. He looked around but he was still alone in his secluded spot of the scrapyard. The morning birds were chirping and the wind blew overhead, just another calm morning on Earth.

"He's not here, he's not here," he told himself over and over, "he can't get in, I'm safe, he can't get me, he can't get me," he kept chanting these words over and over, hoping that the words could actually convince himself that it was all true.

He climbed off of his makeshift berth and went for a walk, heading towards the large signpost where the Autobots like to climb up to either think or be alone. He climbed all the way to the top and settled down, watching as the sun slowly rose over the human city on the horizon. He came up here once before but didn't find the view appealing and instead used the signpost to practise his jumps, but now all he could do was stare at it. It was pretty and the sunrise enhanced its beauty, almost reminding him of home. Sideswipe sighed as he thought of his home planet. If he hadn't left none of this would have happened...

"Jazz told me to stop trying to find someone to blame," he huffed. He really did want to blame Strongarm for dragging him here or Bumblebee for failing to warn him, but Jazz was right for none of them could predict what would happen.

Pulling out the rag Jazz leant him Sideswipe stared at it for a moment. He wasn't expecting his favourite Autobot veteran to show up all of a sudden. He panicked when Jazz revealed he knew what happened and fled in shame. Jazz could had just left him alone but he chased after him, refusing to leave him be. The stuff he said helped a little but not a great deal. All these negative feelings were still present and the disgusting sensation was still looming all over his body. 

He looked down at his belly once more, running a single hand over it.

_"Maybe you'll make a good breeder for my brothers... That is after yous gives me my sparklin', o' course!"_

Sideswipe felt sick again and suppressed the urge to purge. "Bumblebee said he pumped my chamber," he told himself, "I'm not carrying, I'm not carrying, I'm not." But what if it didn't work? What if Bumblebee was too late and right now a sparkling was growing inside of him? He cursed the fact they didn't have proper medical facilities here on Earth. All he could was cling to the hope that he wasn't carrying.

His hand left his belly but slid further down until it rested above his interface panel. In the past, before coming to Earth, he had looked at his valve out of curiosity. After what happened in the forest and when he got some privacy from the others, Sideswipe looked again and was distraught with how damaged it was. Fixit tried to explain that it would get better in time but unfortunately the scars would remain. A tear formed and he used Jazz's rag to wipe the tear away.

"Hey up there!"

Sideswipe looked down and saw Jazz waving up to him. Sideswipe awkwardly waved back but said nothing. "Can I join you?" shouted Jazz. Sideswipe wanted to be alone but he had a feeling Jazz would try and to convince to let him up. "Ok," he called out weakly.

Jazz climbed up the signpost swiftly and plopped himself next to Sideswipe, his face bearing an energetic smile. "Wow, now this is a view," he sighed as he stared off into the horizon, "you come up here often? I bet you do just to look at this everyday."

"Y-yeah," lied Sideswipe, slightly uncomfortable with how casual Jazz was with him.

There was silence for a moment before Jazz spoke again. "Did you rest well?"

"Yeah, I did," lied Sideswipe yet again.

"Good, good," said Jazz, "got any plans for today?"

Plans? "What do you mean?" asked Sideswipe a little confused.

"I asked if you had anythin' planned for today?" repeated Jazz still smiling.

Sideswipe hadn't thought about it. In fact since the incident all he did all day was mope, inspect his belly out of paranoia, and then mope some more. Strongarm volunteered to take on all his duties and Bumblebee hadn't jobbed him off once.

"I was just going to sit up here and... think for a bit," answered Sideswipe.

"Then what?" asked Jazz.

Sideswipe wasn't sure. He was too scared to leave the safety of the scrapyard, all the jobs had been split between Bumblebee, Grimlock, Strongarm and Fixit, and Russell and Denny weren't coming back until their hike was over. There was absolutely nothing for him to do other than to mope around.

"I-I don't know," he finally answered, "just sit around some more, I guess."

Jazz made a "tsk" sound and put a hand to his chin in thought. "Ok, so what did you enjoy doin' when you weren't workin'?"

"A lot of things," responded Sideswipe.

"Like?" Jazz now looked interested and shuffled a little closer.

Sideswipe fiddled with his hands. "I liked to find a wide open space so I can just burn my wheels," confessed the young mech.

"Do you wanna do that then?" suggested Jazz with a grin.

"N-no," muttered Sideswipe miserably, "I don't wanna leave the base.

Jazz said "oh" and tried to think of something else. "Ok, what did you do for fun around here?" 

Oh there were a lot of things he loved to do around here to kill his boredom. Pranking Strongarm, causing mischief for Bumblebee, playing games with Grimlock... Sadly he couldn't really find the motivation to do any of those things. "I do like listening to music," he confessed, the only thing he could think of that didn't involve anyone else.

"Music huh?" Jazz looked intrigued. "Bee did tell me that Earth had some unique music, you got a recommendation?"

"A few b-but I-" before Sideswipe could finish Jazz started climbing back down the signpost. "C'mon kid, enlighten me," demanded the veteran in a cheerful tone.

Sideswipe huffed as he watched Jazz climb down and knew that if he didn't go with him he was only going to come back up and force him. Slowly but surely Sideswipe climbed down the high perch and joined Jazz at the bottom, leading him to where he kept some of his prized possessions including his audio-phones. He hadn't touched them since the incident so they were a little dusty.

He turned them on to one of his favourite tracks and handed them to Jazz. "This one is a good one," insisted Sideswipe despite not sounding motivated, "it was the first Earth song I heard."

Jazz put them on but immediately cringed and pulled them off. "That was certainly unique," he gagged, forcing a smile but unable to hide his disgust.

"You don't like it?" Sideswipe assumed Jazz would be in to that kind of music. "There are other tracks on there, if you want..."

Jazz decided to take Sideswipe up on the offer and he put the audio-phones back on and changed the track, but every song he listened to made him grimace. "I forget that Bee and I don't exactly have the same taste in music," huffed Jazz, rubbing his audios as if to try and erase what he heard. 

Sideswipe did feel awkward but a part of him grew curious. "What kind of music do you like then?"

That question seemed to had pleased Jazz. "It might be somethin' you're not accustomed to but trust me it's good. It's nice and smooth and relaxin', perfect music in my opinion. You ever heard of electric swing?" Sideswipe shook his head in response. "It's cool, I gotcha covered, lucky for you I keep some playlists on hand," chuckled Jazz. The veteran then reached for his helm and pulled out an audio jack. He then appeared concerned and asked, "you don't mind, do you?"

Sharing an audio jack with someone didn't bother Sideswipe a great deal for he used to do it with his old friends back home, it was just a different way to share and listen to music. "I don't mind," he said.

"Alright," sighed Jazz with relief, "but we gotta do this right." Walking over to a not-so-dirty patch of ground he sat down and patted the area next to him, ushering Sideswipe to join him. Sideswipe felt a little reluctant but he did join Jazz upon the floor, sitting next to him cross legged. "Alright, now lie back," instructed Jazz, laying back himself. Once again Sideswipe was reluctant but he slowly forced himself to lay next to the veteran.

He tilted his head to look over at him. "I thought we were listening to music?" muttered Sideswipe.

"We're gonna," promised Jazz, "but you gotta get cosy first." He then pulled the jack from his helm and passed it to Sideswipe. "Just plug it in and relax."

Sideswipe sighed and reached for the jack, taking it from Jazz's hand and inserting it into the audio port under his audio fin. He heard the faint static and popping noise as it synced with his systems. "Alright it's in," he confirmed.

Within moments of saying those words a tune filled his audio receptors. It wasn't upbeat and loud like the music he enjoyed listening to, it was slow and gentle but also sounded smooth and easy, the kind of music he had never listened to before. He didn't not like it but he wasn't entirely sure what to think of it. He couldn't deny that the music he was listening to was helping him feel more relaxed than normal and as it continued to play he actually found it interesting to listen to. Jazz made a relaxed sound and folded his arms behind his helm as he listened to the music alongside and he really looked relaxed. Sideswipe merely let his hands rest upon his abdominal plating and stared up towards the blue sky. He felt his optics close as the music helped him fall into a peaceful slumber.

\-------------------------

It had been three days since Jazz arrived on Earth and he was completely focused on Sideswipe's recovery. He started slow at first, trying to get Sideswipe comfortable being around others which was a little difficult so Jazz had to get the others involved. Jazz managed to convince Bumblebee to task Sideswipe on some light duties, such as polishing some Earth antiques for their human hosts and tidying up certain areas of the scrapyard. The young leader tried to act professional around Sideswipe when giving these jobs but he still used a very light tone with him. Strongarm still couldn't get close to Sideswipe without running off and Grimlock didn't know what to say. This whole ordeal didn't just affect Sideswipe; everyone on the team was affected. 

Jazz would give Sideswipe space when needed but always came back to chat with him and try to get involved in activities the others took part in. He would observe him in secret just to see how he was coping and report it back to Bumblebee. Every evening Jazz would sit with Sideswipe and ask him if he wanted to talk about what happened, and Sideswipe would either change the topic or ignore the request entirely. Jazz didn't expect to get anything out of Sideswipe this early but he kept trying, knowing that it made things a little better when you talk to someone about your troubles.

On the fourth day Jazz had to go to his shuttle to collect some medical equipment and send a report to the council. He offered to take Sideswipe but the red mech refused for obvious reasons so the veteran ended up travelling with Grimlock through the forest. Bumblebee wanted everyone travelling in pairs for now and Jazz didn't mind having the sturdy Dinobot as a travelling companion, and he thought that this would be a good time to get to know the ex convict. From what he heard Grimlock was an interesting 'Bot once you got to know him.

"Bee tells me you're a wreckin' ball on the field," chortled Jazz, trying to get a conversation started. "You could pound a 'Con flat without even tryin'."

"I guess," mumbled Grimlock, kicking a fallen log out of his path.

Jazz could tell something was up with Grimlock, even without asking. "You alright big fella?"

Grimlock made another agitated sound. "I just feel awful 'bout Sideswipe," mumbled the Dinobot, "I feel like I shoulda done something, anything."

"Grim, we discussed this," said Jazz with a reassuring smile, "none of this was your fault or Bee's fault or Strongarm's fault, not even Fixit's fault." Grimlock looked like he was trying to say something but couldn't get the words out. He tried to speak but every time he tried his voice got trapped in his throat. Jazz guessed he needed help. "Got somethin' you want to say?"

It took a few more attempts before Grimlock finally spoke. "I... I almost jumped him," he admitted bitterly, "when his heat came on I almost threw myself at him. I did everything I could to hold back but every time he walked past me I.. I almost lost it." The poor Dinobot, out of frustration, punched a thick tree clean from the ground. He then fell onto his rear with face full of shame. "You must think I'm horrible. I'm just as bad as the 'Con who hurt the poor kid." Grimlock looked like he was about to cry.

Jazz gave Grimlock a pat on his broad arms. "Grim you shouldn't feel bad about somethin' like that," he assured, "if anythin' you proved that you are a genuinely good 'Bot."

Grimlock looked down at Jazz confused. "Good!? But I almost attacked Sideswipe! The scent he gave off almost drove me insane! Whenever he was around all I could think about was f-fragging him!"

"But you didn't," said Jazz, "you could've but you didn't. If you truly didn't care about Sideswipe then you wouldn't had held back. You Dinobots do have a bad rep on actin' on primal instinct, no offense, but you, Grimlock you chose not to act and instead you held back for Sideswipe's sake." He patted Grimlock a few more times. "That dirty fragger who hurt the kid didn't hold back Grim, he didn't care. You cared and that means you are a 100 times better than they are."

"But I thought about it," whined Grimlock, "doesn't that mean I'm bad anyway?"

"We all get impure thoughts sometimes," said Jazz, "it's decidin' on wether to act on those thoughts that make us either good or bad. Did you think they were bad thoughts at the time?"

"Yeah," admitted Grimlock.

"Why did you think they were bad?" asked Jazz.

"Well... I knew Sideswipe wouldn't like it if I just grabbed him," continued Grimlock, "he'd get angry at me if I did."

"You see," exclaimed Jazz with a grin, "you put Sideswipe's feelin's first before your own. If that don't prove how good you are I don't know what'll." Grimlock sniffled a little but the words seemed to have gotten through to him. "Feelin' better?"

Grimlock stood back up and rubbed his olfactory sensor. "I'll only feel better when I punch the fragger who hurt him," he declared, "and then punch him some more until there ain't nothing left to punch!"

"You and me both," agreed Jazz, the words causing Grimlock to grin.

Just like Bumblebee told him; Grimlock looked fierce and acted like a brute, but in truth he was a kind and considerate Autobot in the making. He truly did care for the wellbeing his teammates and he did try despite his dimwitted nature. The incident with Sideswipe clearly affected him deeply and it was understandable for Bumblebee had mentioned the two were good friends. Sideswipe once defended Grimlock when he was being controlled by a Decepticon when everyone else believed he had returned to his dark roots, and to this day Grimlock was forever indebted to the young Autobot. All he cares about was getting his friend back to the way he used to be.

As the pair of them continued with their trek Grimlock then said, "you're really good at this whole thing, ain't cha? Helping 'Bots who got hurt bad."

Jazz hid a frown and quietly mumbled, "I wish I weren't."


	4. Chapter 4

It was his fifth day on Earth and Jazz had been doing his best to help with Sideswipe, the young mech still recovering from his ordeal. Thankfully Jazz's efforts hadn't been in vain and slowly but surely Sideswipe was coming out of his shell. He spoke to others but not in his usual way, still the Autobots were just happy that Sideswipe was now speaking with them. Unfortunately the topics Sideswipe chose to converse in were touchy subjects, the one that was constantly brought up was about the possibility that Sideswipe was carrying.

Bumblebee still wouldn't dare share his doubt that the pumping of Sideswipe's chamber possibly failed, but he did try to be honest about what happen. If Sideswipe was indeed carrying then he would have to return to Cybertron to deal with it, no questions asked. This only drove Sideswipe's paranoia over the top and he checked himself in the mirror every chance he got. Grimlock did try to take Sideswipe's mind off the whole thing by getting the red mech to watch TV shows with him, the Earth programs assisting in making Sideswipe forget what was bothering him.

Jazz thought that maybe it would be best to talk flat out to Sideswipe about the whole thing, knowing that the young mech did deserve to know what his options were. Since the war ended and the council took over, young Autobots hadn't been getting the proper education when it came to breeding and heat cycles. It would be easy to blame them, if Sideswipe had knowledge of his first heat cycle then he would have taken precautions but Jazz knew too well that trying to find someone to blame solved nothing. So as the day drew to a close he offered to chat with the young mech in private.

"Before we begin I jus' wanna point out that if you get uncomfortable at anytime, we can stop," explained Jazz, "that cool?"

Sideswipe nodded in response. "I don't suppose you know much about the early signs of carrying, do you?" he suddenly asked.

"Sorry I can't tell wether you are or not until you get a proper scan," sighed Jazz. He did try to bring the medical scanner he had on his shuttle but it was welded tight to the deck and if he had Grimlock tear it up the council may never let him use one ever again. "We can go and get you checked out now if you want?"

The young mech still appeared uncomfortable about leaving the safety of the base and Jazz wasn't going to force him. "Just tell me what I don't know... Please," muttered Sideswipe.

Jazz was about to start when someone suddenly wheeled themselves up. "If you don't mind the delusion... seclusion... INTRUSION! I have some knowledge on the subject at hand." Fixit skidded to a halt next to Jazz, the minicon looking determined to assist. "I downloaded an entire medical data base into my hard drive so I am confident to assist you."

Though he was merely a warden for a prison ship Fixit did hold some medical knowledge in that small head of his. Jazz welcomed the help, at least having someone with qualified medical knowledge could help in this situation. "I'm cool with it, you cool with it kid?"

Before Sideswipe could answer there was a noticeable cough. Looking over his shoulder Jazz spotted Strongarm standing nearby, the enforcer trying to act casual. "I do not mean to intrude but if it is alright with all of you, I'd like to take part in this lecture." 

It then dawned on Jazz that Strongarm was around Sideswipe's age, if not a little older. If that were the case, then like Sideswipe she never got the education about her own heat cycles. It was clear that no one wanted a repeat of the terrible incident and Strongarm had every right to know. Hopefully Sideswipe wouldn't mind including her. "The more the merrier," said Jazz with a smile.

Strongarm's door wings perked up upon receiving the invite and she sat crosslegged next to a bewildered looking Sideswipe. The red mech looked a little uncomfortable with all the extra company but he didn't say anything and instead focused on Jazz, his determination to understand what was happening with his body was his primary concern. Jazz could only hope he would be able to teach them all that they needed to know and that they would understand.

"Alright kids, let's start with the basics," started Jazz, unable to hide a smirk when Strongarm pulled out her data pad to take notes. "Now when you young 'Bots reach a certain age, your body undergoes some changes-"

"The exact age when a normal Cybertronian is ready to breed is 17.654 mega-cycles," blurted Fixit, "late gloomers... I mean shoomers... I mean bloomers, are common but-"

"THANK you Fixit," said Jazz loudly, "so yeah, once you reached 17 mega cycles or whatever your body is ready to breed and carry a sparklin'." Jazz noticed Sideswipe get a little fidgety when he mentioned that particular word. "Now the first thing you'll notice is this strange sensation you get around your interfacin' equipment. This is a sign that your first heat is comin' on."

"Is it like an itch?" asked Strongarm, raising her arm.

"It's more like a warm sensation," described Jazz, "I guess it's kinda like an itch."

"I see," mumbled Strongarm as she took some notes.

"The warm sensation is created when your chamber has made internal preparations to receive transfluids from whomever you-"

"FIXIT thanks," blurted Jazz, keeping an optic on Sideswipe. Strongarm's face turned a shade of pink after hearing that. "So yes, your first heat cycle is also a sign to tell you your chamber is ready to carry. You also end up creatin' a scent that potential mates pick up. It's another way of your body tellin' everyone that you're ready to have a sparklin'."

Sideswipe was about to say something but Strongarm cut him off. "So our bodies just release this smell and we can't do anything about it!?" She looked mortified. "What if I don't want to breed? What if I don't want a sparklin'?"

"Oh don't worry, there are devices that can be used to stop the heat scent from attractin' unwanted attention." Jazz bit his lip upon saying those words, noticing the foul look on Sideswipe's face. "S-so these devices or software programs are designed to halt the heat scent and to avoid bearin' a sparklin'. That way you can interface to your sparks content without fear of carryin'."

"Most items have been deemed sacrilegious to the Primus fate, as it's believed that no matter how you came to carry you-"

"THANKS FIXIT, I got it," hissed Jazz through his teeth. Jazz was starting to regret allowing Fixit to join in as everything he uttered made Sideswipe look uncomfortable. "Now you can keep track of your heat cycles and it'll help you predict when your next one is."

As Strongarm took a note of that, Sideswipe finally spoke. "How do you know if you are carrying? I mean can a interface fail... s-sometimes?"

Before Jazz could answer, Fixit butted in. "It all depends on how much transfluids your chamber took, a successful breed can occur if the chamber has been filled multiple primes... oh sorry I meant chimes... dang I meant-"

"FIXIT PLEASE!" Jazz had to raise his voice so loud it caused some nearby birds to flee their nests.

"But it's imperative that Sideswipe knows so we can prepare for a new edition to our group, and we also need to know what kind of mech the sire is so we can-"

"FIXIT!" 

"B-but-"

Jazz gave Fixit a look so stern it made Strongarm shudder. Fixit meant well but he seemed to be forgetting that Sideswipe was still very sensitive about the whole topic and it needed to be delivered in a careful manner, something the minicon was having difficulty doing. The veteran then motioned Fixit to zip it, the minicon slumping miserably. Unfortunately it got a little too much for Sideswipe and he excused himself to get some space. Jazz let him go knowing that trying to call him back would be pointless. Strongarm seemed to feel guilty about the whole thing while Fixit remain oblivious.

"Was it something I said?" pondered the minicon aloud.

\--------------------------

After the little disaster with the makeshift classroom Sideswipe had been sitting alone for sometime. From what Jazz could tell he seemed to be in deep thought and he decided to leave him alone for a while. In the meantime he did inform Strongarm a few more things about heat cycles and breeding requirements and what she needed to do to if her heat came on in a tricky situation. She was grateful and vowed to put them all to practise. Bumblebee also had a chat with Fixit, the minicon only now realising that the things he said had upset Sideswipe. He didn't mean too but Bumblebee suggested that Fixit let Jazz handle Sideswipe for now when it came to the sensitive subject.

"He really does look up to you Jazz," said Bumblebee, able to find sometime to talk with his old friend.

"Eh, I'm just another soldier who everyone thinks is a legend," chuckled Jazz modestly.

"I mean it," assured Bumblebee, "he apparently got into sword fighting because of your legacy."

That made Jazz blush a little. "He's a good kid, and I'll bet someday he'll become a legend himself."

Bumblebee smiled at the idea but his earlier fear was still present. "Jazz, when will you return to Cybertron?"

"The council are gettin' on my case," sighed Jazz, "so maybe in a couple of days." Jazz didn't like the idea of leaving but he was here on official council business and the council wanted him to return on the arranged date, otherwise they'd never let Jazz leave for Earth again. Even if Jazz told them about the situation the council wouldn't care.

"And that machine on your ship can definitely scan 'Bots and see if they are carrying?" Bumblebee's fear that his attempt to prevent Sideswipe from carrying was still very much present.

"It should do, Ratchet said any device like that can work," responded Jazz.

Bumblebee's face turned into a serious expression, almost similar to how Optimus looked when he was about to deliver unwanted news. "Jazz we've got to get Sideswipe scanned before you go."

Jazz was more than happy to, only the problem was with getting Sideswipe to his shuttle. "The kid is scared 'bout leavin' the base and I can't dock that thing any closer without alertin' the humans," sighed the veteran.

"I know, I know," sighed Bumblebee, "but we don't know when you're coming back and we don't have a ship or a space bridge to take us back to Cybertron. It could be months before the council bothers to send another Autobot to check on us." The young leader was conflicted with himself. "If it turns out that Sideswipe is indeed carrying, then he has to go with you. He has to return to Cybertron."

It almost sounded like a death sentence the way he said it. It was Autobot nature to feel at home in their new post no matter what they think. The team was like a family you never wanted to leave. Telling Sideswipe that he would have to leave would destroy him.

"I'm not saying I don't want him here anymore," stated Bumblebee, "but Earth is no place for a 'Bot in that condition. If he is carrying then Cybertron has the facilities he needs, if he wants to terminate or keep it. He also needs professional help, I know it sounds harsh but if he can't cope being on a Decepticon infested planet then he needs to leave until his confidence returns."

Bee was right. Only Cybertron had the facilities that Sideswipe needed if he was carrying and to help him overcome his trauma. If he chose to keep it then there was a great program in Iacon where young mech's and femmes were offered all the support they needed. If he chose to get rid of it there was a planned sire-hood centre for that sort of thing and came with a good aftercare program. Jazz could only do so much, he wasn't a pro at this.

The only problem was telling Sideswipe.

"I'll try askin' him again, to make the trip to my shuttle," offered Jazz, knowing that this wasn't going to go down well at all, "I'll ask him later on tonight."

Bumblebee was relieved, unhappy but relieved. "I knew being a leader was tough," sighed the young leader, "Optimus made it look so easy."

"You're not doin' too bad for a first timer," chuckled Jazz.

After the chat with Bumblebee, Grimlock approached and announced that he was holding a special film night and he wanted everyone to join in. Russell the human apparently had an interesting movie collection and there was one movie that Grimlock believed would make everyone laugh and feel giddy. Jazz was quite curious about human entertainment and accepted the invite. Grimlock also asked it Jazz could ask Sideswipe to join in to which Jazz agreed to.

Jazz was worried that Sideswipe would refuse but to his joy Sideswipe accepted the invite without hesitation, meaning that he was now finally comfortable being around his team. He admitted that he still had a lot on his mind in regards to the lesson earlier on but believed some silly human movie would make him feel a little at ease.

Once night set in Sideswipe approached the diner to find the other Autobots all ready to go and watch the movie. Fixit was setting up the projector and Grimlock had a huge oil drum filled with snacks to feast on. Jazz waved him over to a makeshift couch and soon the whole team was seated and watched as the movie began.

"So this is a comedy, right?" queried Strongarm, "the music is a little intense for something intended to make the audience laugh."

"It's called the last laugh," stated Grimlock, "so it's gotta be."

"Grim, just because it has the word "laugh" in the title doesn't mean it's a comedy," sighed Bumblebee.

"It doesn't?" Jazz actually thought that it was comedy despite the name.

"Oh... So what are we watching?" mumbled Grimlock.

"I think this is one of those noir films," said Sideswipe suddenly.

To hear Sideswipe speaking to them in his almost casual tone brought about relief for the Autobots that they almost forgot to respond.

"O-oh yeah, I love those films," stuttered Strongarm, "even if they overact."

"I just hope it's a good one," sighed Bumblebee.

"Doesn't noir mean black in another human language?" asked Fixit.

"Shh, it's starting," whispered Jazz.

The film they were watching told the story of a human detective in a vast city who was determined to bring justice to the corrupted world. Bumblebee pointed out that the detective reminded him of Nightbeat, a famous Autobot detective, only the one on the screen was far too mopey. Strongarm complained about the female romantic interest, stating how she should know better then to get involved in the life of crime. Grimlock adored the fighting scenes and the painful drama that unfolded whilst Fixit still had trouble understanding simple human terms. 

Sideswipe thought the movie was indeed terrible but he enjoyed the familiar sensation of being around his teammates during these activities. He also couldn't deny that sitting next to Jazz was one of the best things that could ever happen to him. For so long he had admired Jazz and hoped to be like him, even hoping that they could be friends. The fact that Jazz chose to extend his stay just to help him made him feel a little better about himself. He just wished that they could've grown closer under different circumstances.

"Oh great, she's throwing herself at him," groaned Strongarm, still watching the film despite how ridiculous it was getting.

Sideswipe watched as the female romantic interest was leaning against the doorway of the detective's office in an over the top seductive manner. _"Oh Lance," she gasped, "how I want you to take me away from all this!"_

_"Then come away with me Scarlet," pleaded the detective, "leave this festering cesspool with me. We'll move to the country and start a life together."_

_"Oh how I love to Lance, but I can't!" The female posed dramatically as the music kicked in to sell the scene._

Grimlock gasped in shock whilst everyone else rolled their optics, except for Fixit who was enjoying it. "I'm not the only one who's noticin' that she keeps sayin' _oh_ at the start of every sentence, right?" asked Jazz.

"Shhhh," hissed Grimlock.

_"Tell me Scarlet, why?" begged the detective as he himself put on an unbearable dramatic pose, "why won't you leave? Is there... another man?"_

_"Oh Lance, you are the only man for me," declared the female._

"Awww," cooed Grimlock.

"See!" shouted Jazz.

"Shhhhhhh!" hissed Grimlock once again.

The scene continued. _"But the reason I cannot leave with you Lance is... I'm pregnant!"_

Grimlock gasped even louder, Bumblebee groaned at the disappointing plot line and Strongarm muttered at how terrible it was. Jazz didn't know the word the female used and leaned over to ask Sideswipe, "what does pregnant mean? Is that like a human illness?"

Sideswipe had been on Earth long enough to know what it meant. "It's a human term for carrying," he answered softly.

"Oh," Jazz mumbled. He appeared concerned but Sideswipe gently smiled back to show he was cool with it, allowing the veteran to relax and continue watching the film.

_"Scarlet it can't be! I refuse to believe," wailed the detective dramatically._

_"Oh Lance forgive me," sobbed the female._

_"Who is the father Scarlet? I must know," demanded the detective._

"What's a father?" asked Jazz in a hushed voice. 

"It's like a sire," whispered Sideswipe. 

"SHHHHH!" hissed Grimlock, even louder than before. 

_"Oh if I told you Lance, you'd never forgive me," wailed the female._

_"Tell me Scarlet!" wailed the detective._

The door to the detective's office was suddenly kicked open and in walked another human with slick black hair and a very sharp suit, the obvious villain of the film. 

_"That would be me detective," announced the new human._

No one else noticed it but Sideswipe found that the villain's voice sounded all too familiar and it sent chills throughout his frame.

_"Yous got some nerve detective, comin' here and stealin' my property," snarled the villain._

_"Don Linguini! You villainous cur," growled the detective._

_"If yer know what's good fer yer detective, you'd shut yer trap," barked the villain, chewing a large organic cy-gar._

_"Oh Marco, don't hurt him," cried the female._

_"Shut it yer two timin' broad," spat the villain, "you're gonna march your traitorous behind to my limo if yer know what's good fer yer!"_

The voice matched almost perfectly. Sideswipe tried not to think about it but every time the villain spoke he heard the voice of his attacker. He started to feel sick and uncomfortably warm, but he didn't want to leave and cause a scene so he tried to endure it.

_"She doesn't belong to you Don," announced the detective._

_"I beg to differ," sneered the villain, "she's pregnant with my kid see, an' that kid is my property, ergo she belongs to me!"_

_"Oh Lance," sobbed the female._

_"Quit yer cryin' and get back to car," barked the villain, "like it or not babe, I own you! As long as that thing is growin' inside of yer, you belong to me now and forever!"_

Sideswipe couldn't take it anymore. He quickly rose from where he say, causing the other Autobots to look up out of concern. "I-I'm gonna call it a night," he said before striding off to his private area. 

The Autobots seemed to had believed that he was tired and allowed him to leave with no fuss. Sideswipe crawled into his berth and tried to sleep, hoping that the recharge would make him forget.

\---------------------------------

Sideswipe opened his optics and found himself standing outside a large door. Confused and with no other place to go he pushed open the door and peered in. He found himself in a very snazzy looking office with furniture made from organic material. There was a stench of flavoured fumes and the sound of a ticking clock. He stepped further in, the door closing behind him, and approached the desk with someone sitting behind it with his back to him.

"Hello?" announced Sideswipe.

The chair slowly spun round and revealed, much to Sideswipe's surprise, Jazz with a nonchalant expression. "How ya doin' kid?" 

"Jazz? What are you doing here? Where are we?" Sideswipe was now even more confused.

Jazz rose from where he sat, walked round his desk and approached Sideswipe. Without warning he pulled the young mech into an embrace, one arm wrapping round his back and the other taking a grip of his hand. Sideswipe felt his face blush as Jazz leaned in. "Come away with me kid. Leave this cesspool with me," pleaded Jazz, his voice almost overwhelming Sideswipe.

"L-leave? W-where would we go?" Sideswipe couldn't feel his legs.

Jazz leaned in even closer. "Beyond eternity," he whispered.

Sideswipe felt his spark flutter as Jazz pleaded with him to go. He wanted to say yes, he wanted Jazz to carry him away, far away from all his worries and fears, to a place where he could feel safe and never fear to be hurt again. He wanted this very moment to last forever.

He was about to give his answer when something latched onto his other hand. "Where do yer think yer goin' kid!?"

Sideswipe spun round and to his horror found Thunderhoof standing right behind him with a firm hold on his arm. The Decepticon grinned wickedly as his grip tightened and the office around them was transformed into a nightmarish landscape. How did he get here? Sideswipe was too scared to ask and he tried to shake his arm free. "L-let go," he screamed. He looked back to Jazz for help but the veteran was gone.

"It's jus' you and me kid," gloated the Decepticon, dragging Sideswipe closer and closer towards him.

Digging his feet into the ground, Sideswipe desperately tried to free himself. "Get away," he cried, his strength was fading fast.

"You belong to me kid," cackled Thunderhoof, pointing towards Sideswipe's belly, "as long as that thing inside yer is growin', you'll be my property forever!"

Looking down at his body in horror, Sideswipe watched as black goo started to ooze from the seams of his abdominal plating. Chains started wrapping themselves around his limbs and when he looked back up at Thunderhoof the Decepticon had transformed into a nightmarish version of himself.

"Yous are mine!" It laughed wickedly as it lunged towards Sideswipe.

\---------------------------------

Sideswipe bolted from where he laid and flung his arms around like mad. He vented fast and heavily, coolant dripping from his frame. Looking around frantically it took him a minute to find that he was still inside the scrapyard on Earth. Once his spark had settled he relaxed back onto his berth and sighed with relief. 

"It was just a nightmare," he muttered to himself.

He ran his hands down to his belly, still unable to tell if he was carrying or not. The words from his nightmare continued to echo in his mind. Thunderhoof was a typical Decepticon at the end of the day and like any other Decepticon, a sparkling was more important to them than energon for it either meant slave labour or new recruits.

Jumping out of his berth he quickly made his way to the main square to find Jazz finishing off some energon. The veteran spotted him and waved. "Mornin' kid," he called, "sleep well?"

Sideswipe stopped before Jazz and took s deep vent. "Jazz, can you take me to your ship so I can get scanned, please?"


	5. Chapter 5

Jazz had never realised how beautiful the organic forest was until now. The lush green leaves, the sturdy trunks of the the trees and the colourful flowers that littered the very ground he treaded upon. Curious organic animals would come out and stare at them, their fluffy and feathery bodies were beautiful to look at. He took care not to tread on anything delicate as he trekked through this green world.

"Makes me wish we had stuff like this back home," chuckled Jazz, taking it all in.

He looked over his shoulder and his smile sank. Sideswipe was not appreciating the beautiful organic forest at all, he was cowering behind Jazz and desperately trying to hide in between his door wings. Jazz could understand why but he insisted that Sideswipe had nothing to fear as long as he was around with his enhanced Decepticon sensor.

"Trust me kid, ain't nothin' gonna harm you out here," promised Jazz.

Sideswipe only managed an "uh-huh" as he stuck close to the veteran.

They continued towards where Jazz had landed his shuttle, deep in the forest where humans rarely walked. Jazz didn't really have a choice on where he docked it but he knew that Sideswipe was wishing that he had parked it closer. The young mech was dripping with coolant and his optics focused on Jazz's back as if he was trying to ignore the world around him. He looked like he was going to purge.

"So that was an interesting thing we watched last night," said Jazz, hoping a conversation would help lighten the mood.

"Uh-huh," mumbled Sideswipe.

"I mean I thought we had terrible actors back home but these organics took it to whole new level," laughed Jazz.

"Uh-huh," mumbled Sideswipe yet again.

"I didn't understand why that female had to keep sayin' oh at the start of every sentence, it was funny for a while but did that get annoyin' fast or what?" Jazz laughed again, last nights memories filling him with funny thoughts.

"Uh-huh," mumbled Sideswipe once more. 

"And that one bad guy? Primus I've seen better bad guys on sparkling shows," said Jazz with a snort, "how did he talk? I'ma gonna get yous-"

"SHUT UP!"

Jazz almost jumped out of his armour as Sideswipe's loud voice rung in his audios and nearly popped them. Nearby birds fled into the sky and the organic critters fled from the scene as quick as lightning. Turning around he stared at the young mech with concerned optics, wondering why he made that sudden outburst. Sideswipe just stood heaving slow and hard, his face paler than usual and his little winglets trembled and drooped. He looked terribly ill and appeared ready to fall over at any moment with the way he was swaying.

In a situation like this one would ask "are you ok?" Jazz hated it when 'Bots asked that question to those who were clearly not ok. It was a terrible excuse of an ice breaker and Jazz knew asking it here would be pointless for he knew exactly how Sideswipe felt, and it was obvious that he wasn't ok. "We're almost there, it's just a little further," he promised.

Sideswipe nodded, his frame rattling as he shook even more. "I'm s-sorry," he croaked.

"It's fine," said Jazz, "I can understand that being out here is hard for you. Let's just keep goin', the sooner we get there the sooner we can head back."

Jazz took a step forward but noticed Sideswipe hadn't moved. Staring down at his legs he could tell that they were frozen in place. Walking back over to the young mech Jazz slowly reached out to him and curled his hand around Sideswipe's, taking a gentle hold of it. "C'mon," he said gently, giving him a little tug. Sideswipe started to move again but kept his head down.

They walked onwards, getting closer and closer to where Jazz docked his ship. Feeling the young mech's hand tighten around his own, Jazz looked over his shoulder to check on Sideswipe. He was still looking down at the ground and his free arm had wrapped itself round his waist. He was clearly feeling poorly due to being out of the base and uneasy about being out in the open. Jazz thought about talking about something to take his mind off his troubles but from happened earlier Sideswipe wasn't in the mood to talk.

They were almost upon Jazz's shuttle when Jazz felt a tug on his arm. Sideswipe had stopped moving and stood incredibly still, no longer looking down but staring off in a random direction. "It's right up there kid," promised Jazz, "let's keep movin' so-"

"This is where it happened."

For a moment there was no sound between them other than the sound of the singing birds and the trees that rustled in the breeze. That beautiful place they stood in now no longer felt special and instead felt horribly awkward and strange. Jazz opened his mouth but no words could come out he could only stare at Sideswipe, the young mech looking at the woodland around him.

"I just went for a walk," mumbled Sideswipe, staring at a specific part of the woodland, "I was just fed up with everyone and thought the walk would help." His grip on Jazz's hand tightened. "I was just sitting here not bothering anyone and then... someone jumped me from behind." Sideswipe used his free hand to wipe a loose tear away that appeared suddenly. "I tried to get free but he wouldn't let go." Another tear fell and soon Sideswipe was unable to catch them as they rolled down his cheek. "I pleaded with him... begged him not to do it but... he d-did it anyway." He now covered up his optics in a vain attempt to stop the tears. "I can't even remember how many times he used me. I just remember the pain from it all."

Jazz remained silent, wanting to Sideswipe to finally get it all out. He didn't intend to bring him back to the place where the horrific incident occurred, knowing all too well what it was like to revisit a place that brought about bad memories. Very slowly and carefully he wrapped a single arm around the sobbing youth and held him in a gentle hug.

"I didn't mean to lead you here," he said, "and right now all I can do is to promise you that I'll help you get through this. You're going to be alright."

Sideswipe sniffled and whimpered, "why me? What did I do to deserve any of that?"

It was a tough question with a difficult answer but Jazz knew he had to tell him. "Life isn't fair sometimes," sighed Jazz, "it can either go good for some or bad for others. It doesn't matter who you are, fate can be a cruel thing."

It was the right answer but it was a cold answer and Sideswipe obviously didn't like it. "So I'm supposed to accept that what happened to me was fate!?" The young mech was still shedding tears but now he looked angry.

Jazz patted Sideswipe on the shoulder, his face now beating a serious but calm expression, as if he was about to deliver some bad news. "This is goin' to sound cold but you ain't the only one goin' through such hardships. Life has its moments of completely screwin' you over."

"How would you know!?" snapped Sideswipe.

Maybe it was about time he told him, what happened to him in the past. Ever since he learned of what happened to Sideswipe it reminded him of that terrible moment in his life. Maybe it was a good idea to talk about it with him. He lead Sideswipe away from that place and told him a story of a long forgotten tragedy. "During the war we had this young 'Bot in our squad who was as chatty and as peppy as anyone could get. Sweet kid and brave too." Jazz smiled as he recalled his old friend. "He could hit a target miles away without even tryin' and was a real whizz at fixin' weapons. He was a real bright cheerful kid... and we all thought he'd stay that way."

Sideswipe saw the sad look of Jazz's face. It was painfully obvious that something went terribly wrong. "What happened to him?"

Jazz sighed heavily. "He started actin' funny one day. He stopped smilin', stopped bein' cheerful. He started shuttin' himself from us and we didn't know why. We eventually figured it out but it was too late." Jazz d and looked away from Sideswipe. "He took his own life a few weeks later. Found a suicide note that told us what happened. He was raped by one of his own teammates."

As the veteran grimaced at recalling the past, Sideswipe found that he wasn't certain how to feel about any of it. This old squad mate of Jazz's killed himself after going through such a cruel ordeal that Sideswipe himself had gone through. Should he feel bad for him? Or should he believe that his own ordeal was much worse? Why was Jazz telling him this?

"I kept tellin' myself that if I had known what was troublin' him I could've helped," continued Jazz, his face full of remorse, "I never wanted anythin' like that to happen to anyone ever again." He then looked down at Sideswipe with a sad smile. "I guess wishin' didn't get me what I want, now did it?"

Sideswipe felt a little angry all of sudden but he also felt miserable, all of his emotions were now in a whirlpool that he didn't know how to calm. He wanted to shout at Jazz for telling him such an awful story but he also found he felt bad for him. The veteran had been blaming himself for failing a lost friend but he wasn't at fault.

"It wasn't your fault," he said at last.

Jazz kept that sad look as he talked. "That's what I told Bumblebee when he blamed himself for failin' as your leader. It's what I told Grimlock when he thought it was his fault that he failed you as a friend. I even said the same thing to Strongarm who I caught crying the other day because she thought it was all her fault and the same thing to Fixit who has been tryin' to make up for somethin' he didn't cause."

Hearing this made a knot grow in Sideswipe's gut. His whole team truly believed what happened to him was their fault? In the beginning he did blame them for what happened but after hearing Jazz's tale he realised none of them were truly at fault. Jazz didn't know what happened to his squad mate until it was too late and he chose to accuse himself of failing him. Bumblebee, Strongarm, Grimlock and Fixit didn't have anything to do with what happened to him and yet they were blaming themselves anyway. Sideswipe felt a tinge of guilt after thinking it over.

"Yes you are the true victim and you suffered a great deal," continued Jazz, "but stuff like this affects everyone close to you. They don't know what to do to make it all better, all they can do is blame themselves for not doin' anythin' to prevent it."

Sideswipe fiddled with his free hand, trying to find words to break his silence. "I'm... I'm not blaming them," he muttered feebly, "I mean I-I did before but..."

"I know," sighed Jazz, "but they will blame themselves even if you don't." Jazz then managed to form a gentle smile as he continued. "This is why you can't walk through your recovery alone. Your team is willin' and ready to walk with you. That way you all heal together. I know I sound like a broken record but you will get through this Sideswipe, you jus' gotta let me and the others help."

Jazz had said it so many times and every time he said it helped a small glimmer of hope grow inside Sideswipe's bleak world. Maybe it was some sort of spell to banish the grief that Sideswipe was drowning in and draw him back to a land filled with hope and strength. It just had to be said over and over for it to work its magic.

They finally arrived at Jazz's shuttle, hidden from the rest of the world thanks to a special cloaking program. When they were on board and safe from any danger Jazz noticed that Sideswipe had yet to relax and it was obvious why. Now they were here it was time for the long awaited scan and both of them had no idea what the end result would be, the red mech was clearly hoping it would be a negative reading. Leading Sideswipe to the makeshift med bay Jazz ushered him to lay down whilst he set up the equipment.

"So hopefully this will tell us if you're carryin' or not," explained Jazz as he pushed buttons to bring the machine to life. "It ain't like a proper scanner used for detectin' these kind of things but it will tell us if your chamber is in the process of manufacturin' a protoform."

Sideswipe gulped and looked up at Jazz with concern. "What if I am?"

Jazz bit his lip. "You might not be-"

"But I might be!" Sideswipe looked terrified as Jazz position the device over his slim body. "What will happen to me if I am carrying?"

There was no point in lying. "If you are carryin' then you would have to leave this planet because of its Deception threat," explained Jazz, watching as the start up screen booted up. "Bumblebee has already told me you gotta go if this comes back positive, no arguin'. Earth doesn't have what a carrying 'Bot needs and it ain't safe."

That made Sideswipe look even more nervous then ever. "S-so if I'm not carrying... I can stay?"

Jazz cringed. "You ain't in the right mental state to be here," explained Jazz, "you need professional help and that's back home on Cybertron."

That didn't make Sideswipe feel better at all and he almost sat up in alarm. "He's kicking me off the team!?"

"No, not at all," assured Jazz.

"You just said I was going back either way," argued Sideswipe, his voice rising a little. "I'm off the team now! Why didn't he tell me?"

Jazz placed a firm hand in Sideswipe's shoulder to get him to lay down and relax as the scan took place. "Bumblebee ain't kickin' you off the team, but you're no use to them when you're like this," explained Jazz, trying to get Sideswipe to see reason.

"When I'm like what?" spat Sideswipe, his voice portraying his anger.

Jazz was trying to tread carefully with his words but he knew no matter what he said it was only going to upset Sideswipe further. "You're... damaged," sighed Jazz, "physically and mentally. You'll be a burden on the others unless you get help and the only place you can get help is back on Cybertron."

Sideswipe looked like he was about to cry as his face scrunched up into a scowl. "I never asked for this! I never wanted any of this! I don't want to go back to Cybertron! I don't want to leave the team! I just-"

The scan had finally run its course with a loud beeping noise and Jazz looked back at the screen as the results began to form into words. Sideswipe became deathly silent as he watched Jazz check over the results, his hands clenching into fists and his spark pulsing like mad. Jazz scrolled down the screen and checked everything that was picked up. Stress levels were high which was understandable. Spark rate was faster than normal. Damage within Sideswipe's interface array was not life threatening but needed medical attention. Energon pressure was a little unstable. So far everything seemed alright and Jazz felt a little relieved that nothing came back regarding Sideswipe's chamber.

His hope was quickly dashed when another reading popped up on the screen.

"Breeding Chamber in use."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay :3

The trip back to the scrapyard had been a silent and a troubling one. Sideswipe walked out in front of Jazz with his arms folded and his head hanging down, almost forgetting where he was as he stomped through the forest. Jazz had tried to speak to him but Sideswipe refused to acknowledge him out of spite. The young mech was trapped in a tornado of emotions, he was upset, angry, scared and bitter and Jazz couldn't pull him free no matter what he said. How could he? He had just been told told things that caused him a whole deal of stress.

His mood didn't improve when they returned to the Earth team's HQ. Bumblebee and the rest of the team were waiting for them, all of them hoping for some good news to come out of the trip to Jazz's shuttle. They all greeted them with a smile and reassuring words but Sideswipe suddenly lashed out at all of them, calling them every name under the sun before running off to his private hideaway and leaving his teammates stunned and confused. Jazz stepped forward to explain why, knowing it wasn't going to make anyone happy.

"He's carrying."

It was the news everyone anticipated but what no one wanted to hear. Fixit fainted, Strongarm looked mortified, Grimlock began to needlessly panic and Bumblebee slumped in disbelief. "This is my fault," groaned Bumblebee miserably, "I wasn't quick enough."

"Bee, I told you this before," stated Jazz, "it ain't your-"

"What are we going to do!?" Grimlock was flaying his arms around in a panic, "I don't know how to deliver a sparkling! I know nothin' about sparklings! I got arrested for almost stompin' on one!"

"Grimlock calm down before you-"

"Fixit wake up," snapped Strongarm as she shook the unconscious minicon in a vain attempt to wake him, "you're the only qualified medic we have here on Earth! Sideswipe needs medical attention stat!"

Jazz looked at the chaos that unfolded before him and sighed heavily, rubbing his aching brow as he tried to calm down and focus. Taking in a deep vent he stepped over before Bee and gave him a few quick but hard slaps to the face to knock him out of his depressed trance.

"Bee focus," snapped Jazz, "your team needs a leader right now."

It took a few seconds before Bumblebee recomposed himself and faced his panicking team. "Strongarm, Grimlock, stop panicking right now," he ordered. It took them a moment to get themselves back into a somewhat calmer state but the dread in their optics remained. "We spoke about this guys, we discussed that this was a possible scenario," reminded Bumblebee despite forgetting about it himself a moment ago.

"Wait, does that mean Sideswipe is gonna... leave?" Grimlock looked like he was about to cry.

"He has to Grimlock," sighed Bumblebee, "he needs proper medical attention and we don't have that here."

"We have Fixit," stated Grimlock with a hopeful look.

"True but Fixit can only fix physical damage, he can't fix what happened to Sideswipe," stated Strongarm with a frown.

Grimlock slumped and his lips quivered. "How long will he be gone for?"

"It depends," replied Bumblebee, looking over at Jazz with concern. "I don't suppose he said what he was planning on doing with... you know."

Jazz shook his head. Right after he told Sideswipe the results of the scan the young mech burst into tears and ran out of the shuttle. Jazz chased after him, desperately trying to reassure him with kind words but Sideswipe didn't listen. He eventually stopped crying as they walked back to the base but the heavy cloud of misery continued to loom over the young mech.

"I'll try talking to him again," suggested Jazz.

"Um..." Grimlock raised his clawed hand, "when will he leave?"

Another hard question to answer. The council wanted Jazz to return ASAP and if he delayed it another day they might never let him leave again. "I have to go by tomorrow," answered Jazz, his voice displaying his regret over the short time he had left.

"And Sideswipe will be going with you," announced Bumblebee with a stern yet sad tone of voice. This of course made everyone upset but they kept their emotions in check.

Jazz left Bumblebee to care for his team, knowing they'd need to talk amongst themselves about losing one of their own, and went off looking for Sideswipe. It didn't take him long to find him, the young mech sitting on the floor with his face buried in his arms as he sobbed uncontrollably. The news had hit him hard and he was now having to deal with things a mech his age shouldn't have to deal with in the first place.

Taking it slow and calmly Jazz sat down next to him and gently patted his back. "It ain't the end of the world Sideswipe," he said gently. 

"How would y-you know?" choked Sideswipe, his face still hidden from sight. "I'm carrying! I have a fragging 'Con growing inside of me!"

Jazz kept his large hand upon Sideswipe's back. "When we get back to Cybertron we'll go to a proper clinic, one that'll help you get through this."

Sideswipe finally lifted his head, his pale face completely drenched in tears. "What am I supposed do with it?" he whimpered. "I don't know anything about sparklings!"

"That is your choice," stated Jazz, "but you don't have to make it alone. There plenty of options for you to take."

"I don't want it," sobbed Sideswipe, "I never wanted it!"

The poor thing continued to cry, hugging himself even tighter as if he was trying squeeze himself out of existence. Jazz scooted a little closer and wrapped an arm around him. "I know that this is what you want to hear," he said, "but we're leavin' tomorrow. Today would be a good time to say goodbye to everyone." Upon saying that only resulted in louder and anguish filled cries. "They don't want you to leave but you have to."

Nothing he said was making Sideswipe feel any better and the poor thing continued sobbing, the tears showing no signs of ceasing. Jazz sat with him for a while until he decided to leave the young mech alone for a while. He promised Sideswipe he wouldn't walk too far and let him be.

The day was passing quick and Sideswipe made no attempt to see any of his anxious teammates, though his loud sobs had finally died down. None of them knew how to approach their ill fated friend, unsure of what to do or say. Bumblebee tried but his guilt almost consumed him when he got too close and he crept away. Grimlock was concerned that Sideswipe wouldn't get the chance to say goodbye to their human friends as they were still on their hiking trip, nor did he learn the name of Sideswipe's attacker. All he could do was stomp around the scrapyard as he tried to come up with something to fix this mess. Strongarm was depressed, even though she and Sideswipe bickered constantly she was going to miss him and started to think she'd never see him again. Fixit was still trying to get a hold of Drift but they had yet to receive a call from him which was concerning due to the fact they were going to be a mech down by tomorrow.

Jazz just constantly kept checking in on Sideswipe, waiting for him to stop crying so they could talk. It wasn't until the sun was close to setting that Sideswipe had finally calmed down though he still bore a foul mood. Not wanting to waste any more precious time Jazz returned to Sideswipe's side and sat next to him. Jazz didn't say anything, hoping that Sideswipe would talk to him but for a while there was nothing but silence.

Just as Jazz was about to open his mouth Sideswipe finally spoke. "I'm scared," he admitted, his voice weak and trembling.

Rubbing a hand gently on his back Jazz scooter a little closer until their frames touched. "I know it is," he said gently.

"I don't want to leave," whimpered Sideswipe, "but I know I'm just going to make it worse for everyone if I stay."

"They know that and they understand," assured Jazz, "this is just as hard for them as it is for you. You've been a real team player here kid, but sometimes teammates have to sit on the sidelines for the benefit of the rest of the team."

"So when I'm better... I can come back?" asked Sideswipe hopefully, "they won't replace me?"

"Of course you can," said Jazz with a smile, though he was unsure of when that would be, "and don't fret about bein' replaced, because I doubt they'll find anyone to replace you." Sideswipe tried to hide it but Jazz could see his cheeks flare a little. "Like I said; this ain't the end. Think of it as a slight detour on your life." Even Jazz thought that was a terrible example but the words had already left his mouth.

"I like this place," confessed Sideswipe, "I like it and I don't want to leave it. I don't want to leave them behind."

Jazz gave Sideswipe a pat on the head before gently forcing him to look up. "They're gonna be here waitin' for you," promised Jazz, "no matter how long it takes." He pulled Sideswipe into a half hug and held him as gently and as firmly as he could. "You should really spend your few remainin' hours with them, y'know leave them some happy memories." Sideswipe finally turned to face Jazz, his optics still puffy and his cheeks stained with old tears but deep within his optics Jazz spotted the first flicker of hope he had seen in a long time.

Just as he was about to say something to the veteran, the scrapyard's alarms went off. Sideswipe immediately cowered in his spot, wrapping himself with his own arms in the hope that they would protect him, fretting that a 'Con had gotten into the base. Jazz stood up and scanned the area whilst sticking close to Sideswipe, raising a protective arm over him, but he detected no Deception activity around them in the scrapyard, so it was most likely that the Alcemor's computer detected Decepticon activity from elsewhere.

"You're safe," promised Jazz, patting Sideswipe on the shoulder, "just wait here."

He jumped up and quickly headed over to where the other Autobots had gathered by the Alcomor's terminal, Fixit quickly downloading the data his scanners were receiving. "I'm detecting mul-mul-multiple Decepticon readings located at the quarry," announced Fixit.

"Do you have an exact number?" requested Bumblebee.

"Four? Maybe five? The scanner isn't functioning correctly," mumbled Fixit, trying to repair the issue.

"They might be using a signal jammer," suggested Strongarm, "one they cobbled together only it's not working so good. They think it's hiding them from our sensors."

"Then let's go smash 'em before they find out," cackled Grimlock as he smashed his fists together.

Bumblebee looked troubled as he looked over at Jazz. "We can't determine the exact number of 'Cons so it would be best if we take as many as we can on this one," he declared, "you don't mind Jazz?"

"Course I don't mind," replied Jazz, but he knew why Bumblebee was concerned. Peering over his shoulder he spotted Sideswipe peeking out from where he was hiding, curious as to what the problem was. If they all left then Sideswipe would be here with no one but Fixit to keep on optic on him. He wasn't worried that Sideswipe would do something drastic whilst they were gone but there was still a possibility that a 'Con could sneak into the scrapyard and bypass security. No, the security in the scrapyard should be enough to keep Sideswipe safe whilst they were gone, there shouldn't be any need for concern.

"Sideswipe we all have to go deal with this," announced Bumblebee, "you and Fixit remain here until we return. You will be safe here, I promise."

Sideswipe stepped out and fiddled with his hands. "You all have to go?" Bumblebee nodded, his blue optics hinted some concern hidden with a strict gaze. Sideswipe frowned a little. "Can... can I at least have my sword back?" He looked at them with pleading optics. "I'll feel safer with it... please?"

"The scrapyard's security will keep you safe," promised Bumblebee.

"And I'm here," announced Fixit optimistically.

"I know... but can I just have it back?" Sideswipe looked a little desperate. "You're all going and... I'd just feel safer..."

Bumblebee still appeared uncomfortable about returning the weapon to Sideswipe, and Fixit was a little hurt, but Jazz gave the young leader a look of reassurance, confident that Sideswipe was well enough to hold onto his blade. He just needed it for an extra boost of confidence whilst they were away, nothing more. It wasn't as if he was going to use it. Bumblebee only disappeared for a moment to retrieve the confiscated blade, handing it over to Sideswipe who clutched it tight, the sharp metal making him feel a little more safer. The rest of the Autobots hoped that Sideswipe didn't need to use it whilst they were gone.

As they drove out of the base Jazz looked back to Sideswipe and shot him a confident grin. "We'll be back soon," he promised before transforming to join the others. Looking back through his side mirrors he watched the red mech vanish as the scrapyard gate closed firmly between them.

The drive to the quarry didn't take long and all four Autobots treaded as carefully as they could whilst walking through the rubble to seek out the Decepticons. At first they didn't detect anything until they stumbled upon a dug out tunnel, the signals were coming from within.

"These look like the tunnels Ped dug out," declared Strongarm as she scanned the area. "I thought the humans would've filled them all up by now."  
"Why would the 'Cons be running around tunnels?" thought aloud Bumblebee, knowing that they didn't exactly offer a strategic advantage over the Autobots, the tunnels were all random and one could easily get lost. If anything these tunnels were a disadvantage for anyone trying to use them.

"Maybe they found one of Ped's energon stashes?" suggested Jazz, "I'm pickin' up some faint energon traces."

"Alright, let's get in there and drive 'em out," ordered Bumblebee, rushing in with his team following.

They took care as they walked in, Grimlock trying his best to keep quiet. It was like a maze at first and the Autobots soon noticed that the artificial tunnels were unstable, every step they took caused some of the earth around them to crumble. The place was just waiting for something to cause a cave in. Surely the Decepticons noticed this before entering.

It wasn't long until the heard familiar voices up ahead.

"How long is he gonna take? This place will fall apart any second," came a deep and agitated voice they recognised as Underbite.

"That shrimp said there was some energon stashed in here," came another voice belonging to Fracture, "we just got to wait for him to get it."

"Why aren't we going in to get it then?" snapped Underbite, "the quicker we grab it the quicker we can get outta here."

"Because, dear brother, your hulking frame would most likely cause a cave in if you go in any deeper," came the cool voice of Steeljaw, "and the last thing any of us want is to be trapped in here. Let us try and be patient for a change, hmmm?"

"Can't we be patient outside then?" whined Underbite.

"And risk having those Autobots detect us?" sneered Fracture, "we're lucky we had this signal jammer on hand."

"You mean the one that was glitched?" sighed Steeljaw.

"Hey it's working so far," chuckled Fracture.

"For now," mumbled Underbite.

Bumblebee signalled his team to follow and they crept closer to where the voices were coming from and peeped round the corner into a large open area. There they spotted the silver tongued Steeljaw, the bounty hunter Fracture and metal eating Underbite waiting before another unstable looking cave. They had no idea that the Autobots were standing nearby.

"What's the plan sir?" asked Strongarm in a hushed voice.

"We have the advantage and we outnumber them," informed Jazz, "but if we start a fight in here it's gonna cave in."

"Also it sounds like there's more of them in there," pointed out Bumblebee, "we gotta be careful and think this one through."

As Bumblebee tried to come up with a plan to deal with this tricky situation another Decepticon came into view, the notorious Thunderhoof who came lumbering over from another part of the cave. "Ain't that two timin' cybershark bait back yet?" he huffed, "I don't wanna be in here when this place comes down."

"Is it really that hard to be patient for one day?" Steeljaw was getting annoyed but managed to keep his smooth tone of voice.

"Feh, even if I were patient I'd still be impatient waitin' on him," snorted Thunderhoof.

"I don't even know how to respond to that," muttered Steeljaw.

Now there were four of them with one of them currently somewhere else in the maze like tunnels, so the odds were still in their favour for now. If they fought in here it would destroy the cage around them. Thunderhoof could cause some damage with those large pedes of his as well as Underbite. They had no choice but to somehow lure them out.

"We wait until they leave the tunnels and then we jump them," decided Bumblebee.

"We have to wait?" whined Grimlock.

"Yes Grimlock, so keep quiet," whispered Strongarm.

"Hopefully we won't have to wait long," murmured Jazz.

Minutes passed as the Autobots continued to spy on the unsuspecting 'Cons. They appeared bored waiting for their accomplice and started chatting about random things like favourite fights or personal colour schemes. Underbite was trying to get his mind off the dangerous cave they were in and Fracture actually teased him about it. The Autobots could only wait and hope an opportunity would arise where they could attack without fear of endangering themselves. 

Jazz was tempted to call in and let Sideswipe know what they were up too but he couldn't risk blowing their cover. Hopefully Sideswipe was doing just fine with Fixit for company, though they now had been hiding for a while. Bumblebee and Strongarm were trying to come up with another plan whilst Grimlock looked like he was about to die from boredom. Jazz hoped that this wouldn't take any longer than it needed to be.

Eventually the pitter patter sound of small pedes could be heard and Clampdown emerged from one of the tunnels. "It's about time Clampdown," growled Steeljaw, "now where is that energon?"

"Energon? Oh right, that energon," laughed Clampdown nervously, "well it, er, turns out Ped buried it a little deeper than I realised so I'm gonna need some help."

"We sent you in to get it 'cause you're the smallest and won't cause a cave in," snarled Underbite, his loud voice making some of the walls shake and crumble.

"I-I know that," whimpered Clampdown, "but I found a safe route for all of us to go, I guarantee it will be safe."

"Funny," sneered Thunderhoof, "yous said the exact same thin' to me before yous handed me over to the cops!"

"Now, now," said Steeljaw suddenly as he attempted to calm the situation down, "let's just do what our brother had promised and get that energon before the Autobots find out."

Bumblebee and the Autobots knew if they went in any deeper they might cause a cave in that would affect the human world above them. They had no choice but to try and stop them now, hopefully they could arrest them without causing the ceiling to fall on top of them. He gave the signal to everyone and they all jumped out of hiding with their weapons ready.

"You aren't going anywhere but back to Cybertron in a stasis pod," announced Bumblebee, "now surrender at once."

"You have the right to remain silent," declared Strongarm, "and it's your only right."

The 'Cons spun round to face the Autobots with surprised but agitated looks. "So much for the signal jammer," muttered Steeljaw. The wolf like Decepticon took a step forward, his golden optics glowed with deadly intent. "We're not causing any trouble here Autobots, so why don't you leave us be before you cause an accident."

"You'll cause an accident if we let you go," scoffed Bumblebee, "so be smart and surrender." 

The 'Cons were boxed in with the Autobots blocking their exit and the only other escape route was through an unsafe tunnel that may or may not be unstable. It did appear that they had no way out of this one and both sides knew it, though Steeljaw was trying to come up with a plan whilst keeping his cool. The Decepticons looked ready to fight but they held back out of fear of causing the whole place to fall apart, hoping that something would get them out of this mess.

It was then that Thunderhoof stepped forward, a cunning smirk upon his face. "I got this one Steeljaw," he declared with some confidence. He faced the Autobots and sneered at them. "Can't help but notice yous Autobots are missin' someone."

Jazz, as well as the others, were caught off by that. Normally 'Cons didn't care if they were missing members of their team as it meant the odds were in their favour. Maybe it was because Thunderhoof was assuming the missing Autobot was hiding somewhere in ambush and was trying to get him to come out. Before they could even think about using it to their advantage Thunderhoof taunted the Autobots some more. "You got a new edition I see, so I'm guessin' yous got desperate for help."

"Stop stalling for time Thunderhoof," demanded Bumblebee, aiming his weapon at the antler helmed 'Con.

"Stallin'? Me?" Thunderhoof snorted and continued to stare down at the Autobots. "I was merely concerned about yous missin' teammate. After all I weren't exactly gentle with him the last we crossed paths."

The air around the Autobots grew heavy after Thunderhoof said that. "W-what did you say?" stuttered Bumblebee, completely caught off guard by that.

Thunderhoof snorted again. "What? He didn't tell yous? I kinda figured yous already knew since yous lot interrupted me in the middle of my fun."

Jazz felt something twitch inside of him, a horrible feeling was brewing within his mind as the Decepticon continued to look amused. He could feel the horror and the disgust of the other Autobots growing as it was slowly dawning on them what Thunderhoof was talking about.

"What are you talking about Thunderhoof?" muttered Steeljaw who was neither interested or curious in what the other Decepticon saying, but asked anyway.

"Oh I told yous this story Steeljaw," explained Thunderhoof, not taking his optics off the Autobots, "but I'll be happy to remind yous." He took another step forward, his gaze still fixated on his horrified foes. "I was walkin' through the woods one day, mindin' my own business, and all of a sudden I get a whiff of this real tasty scent. So I followed it and what'd I find? A tasty lookin' Autobot on heat." His wicked grin widened as the Autobots reacted with horror. "The stupid kid didn't even realise he was releasin' such a sweet scent, though that didn't stop me. He didn't do a good job of resistin' either. He just gave up and took it."

Thunderhoof didn't need to say anymore for the Autobots knew now who had attacked their young friend and he was standing right there in front of them with a cruel smile as he recalled the attack. Jazz felt nothing but malice towards the 'Con, the very idea that he would take pleasure in ruining a life was sickening to the core, but deep within Jazz's mind his reasoning told him that Thunderhoof was doing this on purpose. He was getting the Autobots riled up intentionally and that could only mean that their was some of trap ready for them if they moved.

Before he could even try and tell the other Autobots to keep their cool Grimlock took a large stomp forward and viciously growled at Thunderhoof. "Are you the one who hurt him?" he bellowed, the walls trembling at his loud voice.

Thunderhoof sneered at the Dinobot. "Hurt him?" The 'Con laughed at the accusation. "I made that lil' slut moan like a two credit chip whore!"

Before Jazz could even try to get them to calm down Grimlock roared a deafening howl and charged towards the Decepticons, the whole cave trembled at the frightful sound. Bumblebee and Strongarm had also been blinded by their rage and their judgement clouded by Thunderhoof's words, rushing alongside their Dinobot ally. Jazz also bore the desire to go after him but that doubt in the back of his mind held him back from doing something stupid.

And he was right. As the Autobots drew closer Thunderhoof raised one of his legs and with all the force he could muster slammed it back into the unstable ground. Along with the heavy charging of the Autobots the cave around began to shake and crumble even more and the floor cracked and shook. Jazz dashed forward, hoping to grab at least one of the Autobots before him but when he took a step forward the ground gave way and he fell.


End file.
